Teh Daily Squeak
Mockular Accident Jars Gerbils
Middlesqueak, PN (Sept 20)--Just like Three
Mile Island and Chernobyl, the accident happened
on the night shift.
As a result of gerbil error, two mockular avatars
were posted to the Early Evening Thread tonight.
The avatars were hotlinked from a site where
linking was forbidden. As a result, the avatars
--which apparently contained hidden 'Automock'
-like booby-traps--transformed themselves into
mockular weapons when posted at TSW. "Think
AutoMock by way of rotten.com," said Sulla,
describing the avatars which appeared. "Really
"Kinda miss that delete button," the erring
gerbil said, noting his wish that he could have
vanished his own posts, once he'd realized his
mistake. "I wish we [still] had [it]."
The scare did have one merit, though: it showed
how rapidly the Gerbil Tech Boys could respond,
when confronted by attempts at mockular attack
on Gerbil Nation. Records show that the avatars
appeared on the site at 10:42pm Gerbil Standard
Time. The posts were deleted a scant six minutes
While the mockular event turned out to be a case
of innocent gerbil-error, other witnesses to the
event revealed that they had feared the worst.
"I thought it was some of Deb’s buddies," said
Machinist. "I’m relieved it wasn’t." "I thought
we'd been hacked as well," added Def. Min. Hose-
dragger. "Talk about a blind panic."
Minister Sulla put the whole episode in perspective,
shortly after matters were sorted out. The erring
gerbil "acted quickly once [tehy] realized what had
happened, so we resolved it with few casualties."
'Why Not Bait 419ers?' Asks Atty Gen
Gerbil Nation (Sept 21)--Next Monday, a judge
in Lane County, Oregon, may finally succeed in
doing what the efforts of thousands of gerbils
has yet to achieve: Total annihilation of teh cray
Gerbils, no doubt, would react to such news with
mixed emotions. On one hand, expect a phallanx
of corks to pop from bubbly-bottles across the
nation. But the next morning, as gerbils try to
wheel away their hangovers, they'll find them-
selves confronted with a looming question: "What's
next for Gerbil Nation?"
Perhaps Atty General Denny F. Crane has found
In a thoroughly entertaining (i.e., teh funnee™)
lecture today, Crane shared his adventures in '419
Scambaiting'. This activity, chronicled by such
websites as 419eater.com, is almost as entertaining
as batfrisch-baiting. It relies on many of the talents
honed in the past two months of dueling with teh deb™.
It promises such rewards as 'trophies' and the
equivalent of Automock: for instance, 419 'Eaters'
pride themselves on convincing Nigerian scammers
--who are, ironically, more trusting than one might
think--to send pics of themselves holding signs
bearing outrageous names (of the "Ivana Tinkle"
"What's best about 419 Scambaiting," explained
frischoleum engineer D. Riller Here, "is that, while
we're quite sure that batfrisch is a commodity we'll
eventually deplete, 419-type frisch is a renewable
commodity. Like 'A Chorus Line', that stuff just
never ends. And, like a Twinkie®, it doesn't
get old, neither."
Letter to the Editor
In one of last week's issues, I noticed you referred
to a group of gerbils as a "
horde." Isn't that a tad
disrespectful? Sincerely, Word Worrier
[The Editor Responds: Worry not, Ms. Word. As
it happens, "horde" is the zoologically appropriate
term for a group of gerbils. See this source
Also, by way of trivia, I have it on good authority
that GN police officers test for sobriety by having
gerbils recite this tongue-twister seven times fast:
"The horde hoarded hors d'oeuvres."
for your concern, nonetehless.]