Teh Daily Squeak

Teh squeak c'est chic!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

 

Squeak Softly and Carry a Big Schtick

Teh Daily Squeak

Mockular Accident Jars Gerbils

Middlesqueak, PN (Sept 20)--Just like Three
Mile Island and Chernobyl, the accident happened
on the night shift.

As a result of gerbil error, two mockular avatars
were posted to the Early Evening Thread tonight.
The avatars were hotlinked from a site where
linking was forbidden. As a result, the avatars
--which apparently contained hidden 'Automock'
-like booby-traps--transformed themselves into
mockular weapons when posted at TSW. "Think
AutoMock by way of rotten.com," said Sulla,
describing the avatars which appeared. "Really
vile stuff."

"Kinda miss that delete button," the erring
gerbil said, noting his wish that he could have
vanished his own posts, once he'd realized his
mistake. "I wish we [still] had [it]."

The scare did have one merit, though: it showed
how rapidly the Gerbil Tech Boys could respond,
when confronted by attempts at mockular attack
on Gerbil Nation. Records show that the avatars
appeared on the site at 10:42pm Gerbil Standard
Time. The posts were deleted a scant six minutes
later.

While the mockular event turned out to be a case
of innocent gerbil-error, other witnesses to the
event revealed that they had feared the worst.
"I thought it was some of Deb’s buddies," said
Machinist. "I’m relieved it wasn’t." "I thought
we'd been hacked as well," added Def. Min. Hose-
dragger. "Talk about a blind panic."

Minister Sulla put the whole episode in perspective,
shortly after matters were sorted out. The erring
gerbil "acted quickly once [tehy] realized what had
happened, so we resolved it with few casualties."


'Why Not Bait 419ers?' Asks Atty Gen

Gerbil Nation (Sept 21)--Next Monday, a judge
in Lane County, Oregon, may finally succeed in
doing what the efforts of thousands of gerbils
has yet to achieve: Total annihilation of teh cray
zee.™

Gerbils, no doubt, would react to such news with
mixed emotions. On one hand, expect a phallanx
of corks to pop from bubbly-bottles across the
nation. But the next morning, as gerbils try to
wheel away their hangovers, they'll find them-
selves confronted with a looming question: "What's
next for Gerbil Nation?"

Perhaps Atty General Denny F. Crane has found
the answer.

In a thoroughly entertaining (i.e., teh funnee™)
lecture today, Crane shared his adventures in '419
Scambaiting'. This activity, chronicled by such
websites as 419eater.com, is almost as entertaining
as batfrisch-baiting. It relies on many of the talents
honed in the past two months of dueling with teh deb™.
It promises such rewards as 'trophies' and the
equivalent of Automock: for instance, 419 'Eaters'
pride themselves on convincing Nigerian scammers
--who are, ironically, more trusting than one might
think--to send pics of themselves holding signs
bearing outrageous names (of the "Ivana Tinkle"
variety).

"What's best about 419 Scambaiting," explained
frischoleum engineer D. Riller Here, "is that, while
we're quite sure that batfrisch is a commodity we'll
eventually deplete, 419-type frisch is a renewable
commodity. Like 'A Chorus Line', that stuff just
never ends. And, like a Twinkie®, it doesn't
get old, neither."

Letter to the Editor

Dear Editor,
In one of last week's issues, I noticed you referred
to a group of gerbils as a "
horde." Isn't that a tad
disrespectful? Sincerely, Word Worrier


[The Editor Responds: Worry not, Ms. Word. As
it happens, "horde" is the zoologically appropriate
term for a group of gerbils. See this source.

Also, by way of trivia, I have it on good authority
that GN police officers test for sobriety by having
gerbils recite this tongue-twister seven times fast:
"The horde hoarded hors d'oeuvres."

Merci for your concern, nonetehless.]


Comments:
ROFL!! Awesomely funny! How in the world do you keep up the wordplay like this? LOL! Oh, and I didn't even notice anything was wrong at TSW. Yep, great tech work indeed!
 
I admit that it was I that erred so horribly that night. I had some truly funny automated gifs, and as I went to put the third one in, I was scrolling down to post and saw something amiss. I went back up and was shocked and horrified with what I saw. I thought it was some kind of hack into my compter as I would never have something as disgusting as what was there, let alone ever post it. I had no way of getting rid of it and since it was the night-shift, no way of contacting anyone. We have implemented an early warning system that sends out a message to all gerbils and it worked faster than I had hoped.

In the future, avoid the "Gif Dump" website as their automated gifs are laden with horrible anti-personnel land mines.
 
Altough it isn't correct, I'm partial to a "gaggle" of gerbils. Or if it is DEB related maybe a "giggle" of gerbils.
 
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