Do Not Pass Go, Do Not...

Teh Daily Squeak

Is Deb About to Become Jail-Bait?

Teh Capitol, GN (Feb 21)--In a shockingly
audacious post, Miss Debbie revealed that
Lane County, OR authorities are now aware
of her Denver arrest warrant. Which means
that Debbie's arrest may simply be a matter
of time.

In a Jan. 16th letter to Lane County authorities,
JG's attorney apprised these authorities of
the warrant and requested she face arrest
in Oregon. "we got a warrant out for her
arrest on account of she’s being held in contempt
of court...here in Denver!" reads teh deb's
reconstruction of teh letter. "[So] we was
wondering if you might could lock her up for
us?"

"Four words," remarked a representative
of teh Gerbil Nation Justice Department,
when asked for a comment. "She. Is.
So. Doomed."

Despite debbie's imminent concrete fate,
she nonetheless larded her post with the
selfsame remarks which landed her in
contempt of court last December. "(thankfully!)
retired Colorado Supreme Court Justice Anthony
Vollack [is] a dingbat," she ranted. "Judge Robert
...Crew [is] an a-hole...and a moron," she raved.

"It will be amusing to see what names she'll
call her suitemates at La Casa Incarcerata,"
quipped Solicitor Gen. Truman Fisk. "We're
taking bets over how many of her teeth will
be knocked out before she learns how to
STFU™. Earth to deb: Teh prison
learning curve is a literal jawbreaker!"

Deb headed her post with a promise to
provide readers with "LIVE UPDATES" of
her so-called negotiations "as they OCCUR
IN REALTIME!!!!"

Gerbils couldn't help but wonder whether
one of these "LIVE UPDATES" might end
up including her arrest and imprisonment.

Big-hearted Gerbils also took up a collection
--to equip Lane County prison-cells with
24/7 webcams.