Drama Queen Deb Steals Teh Show...

Teh Daily Squeak

Anyone who doesn't know teh Wheel
is a 24/7 Comedy of Errors
...just ain't payin attention

Academy Announces 2007 'Net Histrionix Awards

Jollysqueak, CA (Jan 25)--In a first for teh Gerbil
Academy, teh deb swept all but one of teh nominations
for this year's 'Net Histrionix Awards.

"It was a blowout," declared Phil Ming-Yoo, director
of the academy. "I swear, that deb must have 'drama
queen' tattooed on her...arm. I've never seen anyone
shovel so much...stuff online before."

Teh deb's highest nomination--for Best Pawthetic
Actress--was a result of her recent solipsistic rantings
at Discover Eugene. "It takes a lot of talent to look
so clueless," said Ming-Yoo. "Then again, maybe
teh deb just is clueless."

Even the nomination deb failed to clinch--Best
Song Parody--was, nonetheless, a song about
teh You, Jean fugitive: Lawbaws, Young-uns,
and No-Money, by Warning Zhedeb.

So without further ado, here are teh deb's
collected nominations:

Best Bluff: "I'm gonna cawl teh FBI!"
Best Cluelessness: "JG's gonna give up this brawl!"
Best Irony: "They made me drag their kids into this!"
Best Ignorance: "That's actionable!"
Best Whistling Thru teh Graveyard: "I'm winning!"
Best Spitting in the Wind: "Teh judge is a sot!"
Best Spitting in the Wind-2: "Teh cops are Nazis!"


Lyrics to Lawbaws, Young-uns, and No-Money
By Warnin Zhedeb

Well, I blogged away on vodka--
The way I always do.
How was I to know
Jeff had a mean ally or two?

I was blogging in ole You, Jean;
I blogued a little dis.
Send lawbaws, gin, and money--
I need to forget this.

I'm the innocent bystander;
Don't matter what they say.
Once Steve Colbert gets my number,
Then my enemies will pay
My enemies will pay
My enemies will pay

Now I'm hiding with my bottle;
it sux to cross Teh Man.
Send lawbaws, gin, and money--
I see the green can man!

Send lawbaws, gin, and money...,
etc.