Teh Daily Squeak

Teh squeak c'est chic!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

 

Smells Like Squeak Spirit

Teh Daily Squeak
Morning Edition

**Exclusive!**
Front Lines: Teh War Behind Teh Scenes

Deb-Be-Ginned Trail (Sept 20)--They're brave.
They fight in places most gerbils have never heard
of: Pi-Flung, Soque-Pwn, Yoo-Jean-Pu-Tang. And,
like the fabled Squeakinators of science-fiction, they
never stop. Ever. Until the enemy is pwned.

"Most gerbils wouldn't have the stomach to see what
goes down down here," barked Col. Bill Squeagore,
clad in his ™ cowboy cap and bandanna. "We're
operational in the hairiest of hairy Golem armpits. The
gerbils back home think they know what batfrisch is?!
STFU, svp! Spend a tour of duty out here, where you're
up to your belly in per diem batfrisch, and then try
whining about the so-called 'hardships of wartime' in
Gerbil Nation!"

While precise details of Squeaka Force ops are protected
under Gerbil Security directives, Col. Squeagore was able
to offer a rough guide. "What we do, first, is set up a soque
pup-tent, and try to draw enemy fire. If we get it, we call
in a pwn-strike, compliments of the Royal Pwn Force. If
there's silence, we just leave behind some message-mines
and move on."

The Squeaka Force's activities beg an obvious question:
are they legal? "I don't think so," said Pip Squeak of the
National Organization of Civil Liberties and Unconstitution-
ality (NO-CLU). "Tell me where in the Gerbil Constitution
it says anything about forward-basing the Squeak Force!"

To address this concern, a reporter for The Squeak called
the GN Justice Department. "Da**it, you guys never stop,
do you?!" shouted Denny F. Crane, recently nominated for
the post of Attorney General. "I could care less what some
limp-squeaks from the en-oh-see-ell-you think! But if you
must know, the Squeaka's legal cover is a special pawse of
the MA'AM Doctrine. MA'AM means 'maximally assured
absolute mockery,' right? Well, that's what the Squeaka
Force is doing: pointing and laughing."

Despite the legal debate, camaraderie and morale are high
among the Squeaka Force. "I tell you, these soldiers' valor
even surprises me, sometimes," said Col. Squeagore. "See
that little bunny over there? I was sure she'd wash out in
a few days, and hop along home. But then she sighted the
enemy at Pi-Flung, and raided the place, solo. Dang!"
Squeagore shook his head. "I say, her tail might be cotton,
but she has b*lls like church-bells. I put in for a medal for
that one."

Comments:
Big Copper Clappers! LOL
(embarressed squeak)
Thanks, MinTeh
 
No, I wasn't embarressed about teh churchbells, I was embarrassed about teh medal nomination.
 
Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]





<< Home

Archives

September 2006   January 2007   February 2007   March 2007   April 2007   May 2007   June 2007   July 2007   December 2007   January 2008   February 2008   June 2008   July 2008   January 2009   February 2009   March 2009   April 2009   May 2009   June 2009   August 2009   September 2009   October 2009   January 2010   February 2010   March 2010   April 2010   May 2010   June 2010   July 2010   August 2010   September 2010   October 2010   November 2010   December 2010   February 2011   March 2011   April 2011   July 2011   October 2011   January 2012   May 2012   June 2012   July 2012   August 2012   September 2012   March 2014   April 2014   September 2014   February 2015   March 2015   April 2015   May 2015   June 2015   July 2015   August 2015   September 2015   November 2015   December 2015   October 2016   November 2016   December 2016   January 2017   February 2017   November 2017   December 2017   January 2018   February 2018   May 2018   June 2018   July 2018   August 2018   September 2018   October 2018   November 2018   January 2019   May 2019   February 2020   October 2020   August 2021   August 2022  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]