Teh Daily Squeak

Teh squeak c'est chic!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

 

THAR SHE BLOWS AGAIN!!1

Deb Frisch Spews Noisy Nonsense @ Eugene City Council Mtg

Eugene (Sept 17)--An apparently beer-bloated Deborah Frisch spewed bile at a Eugene City Council public hearing Monday night. Teh eruption is Miss Debbie's first public appearance since eruptions at Eugene public meetings from

April through June--and teh first public sighting of Teh Deb since her lazy sit-ins at teh Occupy Eugene Medical Tent in July.

Miss Debbie's twitchy, spittle-flecked remarks included teh stoopid description of a Downtown riff-raff exclusion zone as "aggression against teh civil rights of a targeted population" and "a tool of discrimination!!!1"

(As longtime Debbie-watchers know, Deborah Ellen Frisch's legal opinions aren't worth teh vodka-steeped breath Debbie puffs to expel them.)

A video of Miss Debbie's latest rant can be seen at THIS LINK (forward to 4min30sec)

In otehr news: One week since opening, Gerbil Nation 2.0 began taking bets on Miss Debbie's next arrest, with odds set at 3-1 by year's end, and 3-2 by next spring.


DEVELOPING...




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Friday, September 14, 2012

 

Gerbil Nation 2.0

Retiring President Sinner Reveals: Top Ten Things on Retirement "To Do" List!

Gerbil Nation (Sept 14)--As Lord of Teh
Manor Jerrie Atrick put  teh final finishing
touches before teh launch of TehSqueak.com,
this newspaper managed to score a GENUINE SATIRICAL COPY of Teh Top Things retiring Presidente for Life Sinner plans to do upon his retirement to teh city of Gerbilsburg:

#10...Oil that pesky squeak on teh living room wheel that teh wife
has been bugging me about

#9... Cash in those WTF Vodka (tm) royalty checks

#8... FedEx can of mixed nuts, filled with those popping skakey thingies, 
to incoming overseer Jerrie Atrick

#7... Record phone message telling callers to "Leave a message at TehSqueak"

#6... Rename the dog "She Who Must Not Be Named"

#5... Auction off memoirs for 1,000,000 sunflower seeds on eBay

#4... Start installing pool shaped like a gerbil wheel

#3... Rent a few of those "Miss Me Yet?" billboards in Teh GN Capitol

#2... Send a telegram to that English teacher also named "Deb Frisch":
"Retired today. Can we be friends now?"

And Teh Number One Thing Sinner plans to do in retirement?
#1...TRADEMARK A NEW LOLLYPOP BRAND NAME: "HOSTMONSTER SUCKS"!!1

And in otehr news...

A NEW DAWN:

GERBIL NATION 2.0 OPENS WITH GERBILLY WARMTH


Gerbil Nation 2.0 (Sept 13)--Tex Made coffee...Gerbils squeaked about politics...
And there was teh inevitable celebrity appearance of SWMNBN (j/k...sort of)

Teh New Gerbil Nation is ON TEH AIR!!!1



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