Ancient Gerbil Text Unearthed!Tao de Teh discovered by archy's
Eugenics, OR (Sept. 16)--In a major press conference,
gerbilologists at the University of Orygone announced
the discovery of what appears to be the oldest known
Gerbil Order text: Teh Tao de Teh
"We couldn't believe it!" said Dr. Ima Phud. "Who'd
have thought such an old text could survive being
buried in a bottle? Then again, WTF has always
made pretty durable containers..."
Experts in squeakology immediately set to work
translating the documents, which were carved into
parchments resembling thin gerbil shavings. "It'll
be quite a chore," noted Prof. Gene Hayyoo. "We're
still only at a rudimentary stage in our ability to
translate ancient Squeakage. It's a bit like Morse
Code: dots and dashes correspond to long squeaks
and staccato-squeaks. The language also contains
grave- and accute-accents; we think
correspond to falling and rising squeaks, but we're
still testing that hypothesis."
Gerbil historian Owata Bore was hopeful that the
text would illuminate Gerbil history. "To be honest,"
he said, "we're pretty much in the dark about the
ancient Gerbils. We know, for instance, that Gerbil
recreation involved making fun of a race called Debils.
We know that ancient Gerbils were led by a guru named
Squeaker. But that's about it. I hope that the Tao de Teh
can tell us more, once it's translated."
The Gerbilologists celebrated their discovery with an
festive party, fueled by casks of 1937 vintage Syrah wine.
When asked about how academics could afford such a
pricey bash, Dean Ngo Ulich laughed. "I just told them
to send the bill to BrendaK," he said.Excerpt from Teh Tao de Teh: Teh ‘teh’ taht can be described is not teh eternal Teh. Teh spell that must be broken is called teh frisch debbeh. Teh deb is teh witch of Hell on Earth. Teh squeak is teh mom of gleeful Mirth. Freed from batfrisch, you can see teh hidden Teh. By having batfrisch, you can only see tequila. Yet tehquila and Teh emerge from the same source. This source is called
WTF.Batfrisch born from batfrisch be teh beginning of all teh cray zee.