Teh Daily Squeak

Teh squeak c'est chic!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

 

We see your future...



In today's Squeak, we begin a new column:
Future Shocker--Fortuneteller. . .

Dear Future Shocker:

I've been carrying on a relationship with "Saul" for a few months now. At first, he courted me with libel suits and restraining orders, but now he hardly ever calls or writes. . .

I've been trying to catch his eye again by writing to his colleagues, and calling various lawyers in his neighborhood. (After all, persistence is tres sexy, n'est-ce pas? :-)) So far, though, everyone is IGNORING me! I'm INFURIATED!

If only I could get a few things from him--bling, dinner, and conversation--I'd be a happy peep. Is that too much to ask?! What can I do?! --TehBee, YouJean.

Dear TehB: As I held your letter, its vibrations were overpowering (...so was its stench, but we won't go there).

Not to worry--all of your wishes will soon be coming TRUE!

Bling? What lady wouldn't want a little shiny on her extremities? In your case, I see quite a heavy bauble! Helpful hint: practice shuffling.

Dinner? Oh, yes! I see a very great dining experience in your future. Helpful hint: water is the chic beverage to have with soggy bologna.

Conversation? I see a lot of it for you! Actually, I see conversation toward and about you. . .Odd! I even see a woman named "Miranda" telling you to STFU™! Helpful hint: When a woman named "Marge" describes you as a "dish," she's not talking about gossip!

Yes, TehB, you have quite a future in store for you!


Comments: Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]





<< Home

Archives

September 2006   January 2007   February 2007   March 2007   April 2007   May 2007   June 2007   July 2007   December 2007   January 2008   February 2008   June 2008   July 2008   January 2009   February 2009   March 2009   April 2009   May 2009   June 2009   August 2009   September 2009   October 2009   January 2010   February 2010   March 2010   April 2010   May 2010   June 2010   July 2010   August 2010   September 2010   October 2010   November 2010   December 2010   February 2011   March 2011   April 2011   July 2011   October 2011   January 2012   May 2012   June 2012   July 2012   August 2012   September 2012   March 2014   April 2014   September 2014   February 2015   March 2015   April 2015   May 2015   June 2015   July 2015   August 2015   September 2015   November 2015   December 2015   October 2016   November 2016   December 2016   January 2017   February 2017   November 2017  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]