'Deep Squeak' Spills Beans in Frisch Case!!
FRISCH WAS BAR-HOPPING, STUMBLING DRUNK,
Eugene (Feb 13)--New details have emerged in accounts
ON NIGHT OF ASSAULT
of Miss Debbie's criminal activities on the fateful night of
Nov. 1 2008. The accounts, coupled with earlier information,
tell of a harrowingly batfrisch crayzee night. Small wonder
that Frisch now faces criminal charges, in a trial scheduled
to begin on March 4th.
It has been learned:
- Frisch was already drunk upon entering the John Henry bar. Frisch had visited other bars earlier, "celebrating her birfday," according to a source we'll dub Deep Squeak.
- Frisch was "cut off" by a concerned bartender after only one drink.
- Frisch left the bar, intending to drive in her inebriated state.
- An acquaintance of Frisch's intervened at this point, confiscating Debbie's keys, and turned them over to a neutral authority for safekeeping.
- Frisch re-entered the bar, in a fumbling attempt to retrieve her keys.
- Frisch stumbled and fell hard, thus causing her now-notorious "leg bruise." (Serious losses of balance occur, according to medical authorities, at a BAC of 0.20.)
- Frisch made a slurred phone call to police, falsely stating that she'd been assaulted. When police arrived, Frisch was unable to operate her cell phone. (The inability to perform simple tasks, according to medical authorities, begins at a BAC of 0.15.) Police, of course, diagnosed Debbie as quite inebriated.
Such facts bode ill for Frisch's attempt to defend against charges of physical
harassment and reckless use of pepper spray. As usual, we find ourselves
pitying Debbie's put-upon public defender...
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