Teh Daily Squeak

Teh squeak c'est chic!

Saturday, September 16, 2006


TSW More than Squeaks By...

Ancient Gerbil Text Unearthed!
Tao de Teh discovered by archy's

Eugenics, OR (Sept. 16)--In a major press conference,
gerbilologists at the University of Orygone announced
the discovery of what appears to be the oldest known
Gerbil Order text: Teh Tao de Teh.

"We couldn't believe it!" said Dr. Ima Phud. "Who'd
have thought such an old text could survive being
buried in a bottle? Then again, WTF™ has always
made pretty durable containers..."

Experts in squeakology immediately set to work
translating the documents, which were carved into
parchments resembling thin gerbil shavings. "It'll
be quite a chore," noted Prof. Gene Hayyoo. "We're
still only at a rudimentary stage in our ability to
translate ancient Squeakage. It's a bit like Morse
Code: dots and dashes correspond to long squeaks
and staccato-squeaks. The language also contains
grave- and accute-accents; we think that those
correspond to falling and rising squeaks, but we're
still testing that hypothesis."

Gerbil historian Owata Bore was hopeful that the
text would illuminate Gerbil history. "To be honest,"
he said, "we're pretty much in the dark about the
ancient Gerbils. We know, for instance, that Gerbil
recreation involved making fun of a race called Debils.
We know that ancient Gerbils were led by a guru named
Squeaker. But that's about it. I hope that the Tao de Teh
can tell us more, once it's translated."

The Gerbilologists celebrated their discovery with an
festive party, fueled by casks of 1937 vintage Syrah wine.
When asked about how academics could afford such a
pricey bash, Dean Ngo Ulich laughed. "I just told them
to send the bill to BrendaK," he said.

Excerpt from Teh Tao de Teh:

Teh ‘teh’ taht can be described is not teh eternal Teh.
Teh spell that must be broken is called teh frisch debbeh.

Teh deb is teh witch of Hell on Earth.
Teh squeak is teh mom of gleeful Mirth.

Freed from batfrisch, you can see teh hidden Teh.
By having batfrisch, you can only see tequila.

Yet tehquila and Teh emerge from the same source.
This source is called WTF™.

Batfrisch born from batfrisch be
teh beginning of all teh cray zee.

OMG! What a discovery! Great Scoop!

Why isn't this on a Breaking News scroll on DHD-TV? I know it won't be on MSM outlets.

Also, I was wondering if the profs working on the project had tenure. It makes a difference, I've heard.

Yeah, DHD-TV claims to be
"neutral"...but tehy have
an obvious deb-bias.

Tehse profs weren't tenured
yet...tehy're tryin' to make
a name for tehmselves... ;)
Minteh -

You're performing a valuable service with this publication; I must remember to read it on a daily basis.

Important news, incisive analysis and human/gerbil-interest stories. (That last one sounds dirty; you know what I mean.)

NedraZ wrote a story about about a dog on her blog.

I like dogs. Yay!

How come "dog" and "blog" don't rhyme?
I had a store of Thunderbird for the PhuDs. They're gonna be in biiiig trouble!

Thanks...With so much of teh funny™ goin' down at TSW,
the Daily Squeak pretty much
writes itself now.


What's teh word?
What's teh word warrrior?

teh squeak, etc™
Blog sounds like log
Dawg sounds like hawg.
I wanna say "Kapeesh",
but I can't spell it.


Also a dawg.
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