Teh Daily Squeak

Teh squeak c'est chic!

Friday, September 22, 2006


Wheel Be Waiting For You, Deb...

Teh Daily Squeak

Eerie Silence Descends Over GN

New Squeak City (Sept 22)--Reporters at Teh Squeak
found themselves perplexed as the news day ticked
away on Friday.

"Here's one!" a reporter squeaked chirpingly: "Gerbils
eagerly anticipate Grey's Anatomy season premiere!"

Managing editor Ben Squeakee drew a paw over his
long-whiskered face. "Ugh. Whoever thought a Deb-
free day could be so...boring!"

Across the newsroom, a hundred paws thrust into the

Squeakee walked over to his old-fashioned ticker-tape
wires, a clattering behemoth which spits out Associated
Squeak Press (ASP) dispatches. "Lessee," he read hope-
fully. "Deb Looses Poo-by on Member of Sins-Blogburst."
He shook his head. "That's about as newsworthy as, 'Cats
chase mice!'"

"Assaults Continue on Yu-Jean-Pu-Tang." Squeakee
pondered, then queried a reporter, hopefully: "Did the
debils return fire?"

"No, sir," the reporter replied.

"Dang!" exclaimed Squeakee, smacking a desk. "Okay,"
he sighed, collecting himself. "I hear the gerbils are
cobbling together Deb's Prison Planner. I'll cover that
story myself. The rest of you gerbils--knock off early."

"Teh YAY!™" cheered the newsroom.

Eugene, Oregon Envoy Graces Gerbil Nation

Gerbil Nation (Sept. 22)--Shortly before 5:00PM
Gerbil Standard Time, a plane landed in the Afternoon
Thread carrying Ambassador Flag Free, a representative
of the indepdendent nation of Freedonia.

Free received a warm welcome from gerbils assembled
at today's Announcement thread. " I’m not Deb," said
the Ambassador, "but my drink is vodka. That’s okay,
right?" Gerbils immediately appreciated Amb. Free's
disarming sense of humor.

"The Ambassador will fit in nicely here," said SBH, who
employed soopersekrit diplomacy to make the Freedonian's
visit possible. Some gerbils even whispered that SBH's
coup may make her a candidate for this fall's Nobel Squeak

El Prez Appoints Rapid Responders

Teh Squeak House (Sept. 22)--In response to Tuesday's
brief Mockular accident, Gerbil President Sinner
announced the appointment of a two-man emergency
tech response team: Joeschmo1of3 and Petrarchan

"If there is some sort of admin problem with a post or a
comment," Sinner said, "these two...can make with the
typey-typey and make the problem go away."

While their position carries no salary, Joe and Pet were
issued brand new uniforms, which they immediately
donned for a cheering crowd.

TEH-TV is On The Air!

Squeakio City, CA (Sept 22)--Minister of Propaganda
Fatwa has announced the launch of a new television
network: TEH-TV. He announced the following first
day's programming line-up:

7:30 WHEEL OF SQUEAKS - (Game Show)
Host: Richard Pawson

8:00 THE GREEN CAN MAN - (Comedy)
Deb gets another visit; the seal and the monkey
find themselves in deep frisch.

8:30 DO IT NOW! - (Instructional) How to become
an internet verb; getting rid of your inhibitions. Is
mockery actionable. Host: Peau Beyton.

9:00 THE NEDRA Z. SHOW - (Comedy/Drama)
Some really awful stuff happens to several people.
But nothing bad happens to any dogs. Yay!

(News/Snarcasm) Fatwa Arbuckle, MinTeh, co-anchors.

(Infomercial Marathon) Dirt-cheap late night programming,
because some folks will watch anything.

To Minister Fatwa, we say: teh-yay!™. "I’ve been
trying to acquire some better programming,"
he reports, "but I'm gonna need to start collecting a lot
more bottles and cans from dumpsters."

Daily Puzzle
Here is the solution to yesterday's Hangman Puzzle:

Once again you have scooped teh Mean Stream Media with your Fair and Wheel Balanced reporting.
Tip O' teh hat squeak.

We had a full-blown batfrisch after you went to bed. teh whatt® spread over 2 threads. You gotta see it to believe it!

Thanks so much. And, if you see
Nedra Seal, please wish her all
the best from the staff at teh Squeak: Crapal Tunnel Syndrome is, as you can imagine, quite the occupational hazard around here. Nuthin' to take lightly. :)


Dagnabbit!!! I missed it! Well, guess I gotta write about it ex post facto ::sigh::
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