Teh Daily SqueakEerie Silence Descends Over GN
New Squeak City (Sept 22)--Reporters at Teh Squeak
found themselves perplexed as the news day ticked
away on Friday.
"Here's one!" a reporter squeaked chirpingly: "Gerbils
eagerly anticipate Grey's Anatomy
Managing editor Ben Squeakee drew a paw over his
long-whiskered face. "Ugh. Whoever thought a Deb-
free day could be so...boring
Across the newsroom, a hundred paws thrust into the
Squeakee walked over to his old-fashioned ticker-tape
wires, a clattering behemoth which spits out Associated
Squeak Press (ASP) dispatches. "Lessee," he read hope-
fully. "Deb Looses Poo-by on Member of Sins-Blogburst
He shook his head. "That's about as newsworthy as, 'Cats
"Assaults Continue on Yu-Jean-Pu-Tang.
pondered, then queried a reporter, hopefully: "Did the
debils return fire?"
"No, sir," the reporter replied.
"Dang!" exclaimed Squeakee, smacking a desk. "Okay,"
he sighed, collecting himself. "I hear the gerbils are
cobbling together Deb's Prison Planner. I'll cover that
story myself. The rest of you gerbils--knock off early."
"Teh YAY!™" cheered the newsroom.Eugene, Oregon Envoy Graces Gerbil Nation
Gerbil Nation (Sept. 22)--Shortly before 5:00PM
Gerbil Standard Time, a plane landed in the Afternoon
Thread carrying Ambassador Flag Free, a representative
of the indepdendent nation of Freedonia
Free received a warm welcome from gerbils assembled
at today's Announcement thread. " I’m not Deb," said
the Ambassador, "but my drink is
vodka. That’s okay,
right?" Gerbils immediately appreciated Amb. Free's
disarming sense of humor.
"The Ambassador will fit in nicely here," said SBH, who
employed soopersekrit diplomacy to make the Freedonian's
visit possible. Some gerbils even whispered that SBH's
coup may make her a candidate for this fall's Nobel Squeak
Prize. El Prez Appoints Rapid Responders
Teh Squeak House (Sept. 22)--In response to Tuesday's
brief Mockular accident, Gerbil President Sinner
announced the appointment of a two-man emergency
tech response team: Joeschmo1of3 and Petrarchan
"If there is some sort of admin problem with a post or a
comment," Sinner said, "these two...can make with the
typey-typey and make the problem go away."
While their position carries no salary, Joe and Pet were
issued brand new uniforms, which they immediately
donned for a cheering crowd.TEH-TV
™ is On The Air!
Squeakio City, CA (Sept 22)--Minister of Propaganda
Fatwa has announced the launch of a new television
network: TEH-TV. He announced the following first
day's programming line-up:
7:30 WHEEL OF SQUEAKS - (Game Show)
Host: Richard Pawson
8:00 THE GREEN CAN MAN - (Comedy)
Deb gets another visit; the seal and the monkey
find themselves in deep frisch.
8:30 DO IT NOW! - (Instructional) How to become
an internet verb; getting rid of your inhibitions. Is
mockery actionable. Host: Peau Beyton.
9:00 THE NEDRA Z. SHOW - (Comedy/Drama)
Some really awful stuff happens to several people.
But nothing bad happens to any dogs. Yay!
10:00 TEH-TV NIGHTLY PROPAGANDA -
(News/Snarcasm) Fatwa Arbuckle, MinTeh, co-anchors.
11:00 WORLD OF INFOMERCIALS! -
(Infomercial Marathon) Dirt-cheap late night programming,
because some folks will watch anything.
To Minister Fatwa, we say: teh-yay!™. "I’ve been
trying to acquire some better programming,"
he reports, "but I'm gonna need to start collecting a lot
more bottles and cans from dumpsters."Daily PuzzleHere is the solution to yesterday's Hangman