KYLE ADDRESSES GERBIL NATION,
ANNOUNCES PWNAGE, DISSES DEBBIE
Teh Capitol (June 19)--In a Gerbil Nation first, President
Sinner used his address to Teh Nation to introduce a new
member of teh gerbil pwnage team: Kyle H., teh new
Director of Debbie Cyberpsyops. (Earlier story here
In his remarks to Teh Nation
, Director Kyle announced
some Big News: "Debbie’s been smacked down again by
Blogger," he announced, and "[t]he blog at deenaye.blogspot.
...[is] now safely in gerbil hands. Give it a visit, and
enjoy the latest pwnag3!"
Director Kyle then speculated on the impact today's event
might have on Miss Debbie (a.k.a. "404
"). "Will debbie finally
get the hint?" he asked. "I doubt it....Miss debbie, who calls
herself a 'decision scientist,' is laughably, inanely clueless
when it comes to making real-life decisions!"
Gerbil's watching Kyle's address cheered the new Director's
remarks, and gave him a hearty welcome to the fold. And
here at Teh Squeak
, we look forward to writing more about
teh new Director's work, in the weeks and months ahead.Morning Weather Forecast: Debstorm WATCH(June 20)--Mediocrityologists studying Miss Debbie at teh National Weatehr Center are warning gerbils that an "it's-her!"icane may be brewing off teh YouJean coastthis morning. Whether this storm will be as extensive as yesterday's is, as yet, unknown.
Debbie Harasses Journalists,
Threatens Freedom of Funneh™
Teh Capitol, GN (June 19)--Incensed by student
reporters who caught Debbie being Debbie
, teh scourge of YouJean
is now attempting to strongarm these brave
journalists, Teh Squeak
In blogs posted at 11:06 and 11:26am GST, Miss
Debbie revealed that she had emailed a member
of the Oregon Commentator's Board of Trustees.
With debbie's usual hysterics and dishonesty,
she accused teh publication's editor of "propagating
...easily shown-to-be-false lies about [Miss Debbie]"
and that a bystander who had tossed Skittles at
her had thereby committed "physical assault."
These charges would be laughable, were it not for
their use in a transparent attempt to squelch an
article which gave us singularly rare pwnag3
such as this:
We therefore fully support The Commentator
its brave stance on Freedom of Teh Funneh. We
also look forward to the publication's response to
this nuisance. (Hint
: You have 120+ other deb
pics in your possession
, right? ;))
All In Teh Family:Son of Psyops Sec'y Joins Cause
Cyclops City, GN (June 18)--In a surprise announcement
Psyops Department Secretary largenfirm appointed
his son, Kyle, as Head of the Deparment's Cyberpwnag3
"I've been really busy...lately," Secy Firm wrote. "...so
I've asked Kyle...to take over on posting updates on
The most specific duty Kyle will have will be to manageover a dozen
of Miss Debbie's former blogs--most of
them yanked by Blogger
for debbie's nasty libel-habit.
Secretary Firm quickly gathered the sites, and replaced
their debbilish content with something more funneh
In his announcement today, Secretary Firm went on
to express his confidence that Kyle will flourish in his
new post: "I expect the McBlogs to be much more interesting,
as Kyle has some definite opinions about Debbie, and
I'm sure he'll feel free to express himself."
In an exclusive interview with Teh Squeak
, Mr. Kyle
expressed eagerness to get to work: "I've had my eye
on those Dead Debbie Blogs for a long time," he said.
"It's time to really
find out what we can do with 'em.
I'm gonna have tons of fun finding out."