DEBBIE LOLSUIT GETS PWNED BY JUDGE
FRISCH SUIT "FRIVOLOUS"
EweGene (June 3)--Little Miss Debbie got pwned by a Federal Judge today. He exposed Miss Debbie's laughable legal ignorance in an 8-page order pronouncing Frisch's lolsuit "frivolous," i.e., "lack[ing] an arguable basis in law or in fact" (or, as is often teh case with Dweebie, BOTH).
Debbie had filed a civil complaint with Oregon Federal District Court on May 8th--a transparent attempt to continue her harassment campaign against authorities who held Frisch criminally responsible for assaulting an acquaintance last November.
Among other LULZ, teh judge
- pwned Debbie's attempt to sue her sentencing judge...on the obvious grounds that judges enjoy "absolute immunity" from being harassed by frivolous lolsuits.
Little Miss Debbie was given 30 days to put lipstick on teh legal pig she filed, but it's really no use (obviously).
- pwned Debbie's attempt to sue police officers for testifying to ugly truths about Frisch (MOAR HERE). Witnesses, like judges and prosecutors, enjoy "absolute immunity" from harassing lolsuits.
Gerbil Nation erupted in happy squeaks upon hearing teh newz of Dweebie's pwnage. "You are playing with fire when you play lawyer," observed Secretary LargenFirm. "You will eventually get burned....Thanks for the chuckles, chucklehead!"
UPDATE (11:54am GST): Did Miss Debbie commit perjury in her filings with teh Federal Court? In order to evade paying a hefty filing fee, Miss Debbie filed an AO-240 form, "Application to Proceed without Prepayment of Fees and Affidavit." On that form, Miss Debbie declared "under penalty of perjury" to have no income sources.
But such a claim appears laughable.
Since Miss Debbie has been jobless for 3 years
, it follows that "[s]omeone
is paying her bills (gas, car insurance..., etc.)," observed Psyops Secretary Largenfirm. "Someone
is dribbling her cash for incidentals. Someone
is providing her with a house, making payments on a mortgage. All gifts. All easily documented."
Teh Secretary then pointed out just how easy it would be to "document" Miss Debbie's lie: "For instance," he noted, "it is a court-documented fact
that her parents are paying for the alcoholism treatment, a clear "gift" under the law. One that she knowingly failed to report.
Miss Debbie's mommy and daddy remain Teh Deb's sole source of support, even going so far as testifying for leniency at Miss Debbie's sentencing hearing for her March 2009 physical harassement conviction